Friday, March 5, 2010

Top of the morning to ya...

Tomorrow is the annual Hoboken Saint Patrick's Day festival.
If you love watching human train wrecks step right up because THIS is the place to be.

I've decided to have a bake sale tomorrow to exploit all the inebriated morons who invade our town and form lines outside the bars at 8am.

That and you know, I'm stupid.

I'm making cupcakes galore and the kids and I will set up a table outside tomorrow and sell them for $2.00 each.

I'm not just making any ol' cupcakes though. Oh no. I'm making boozecakes. I currently have my oven pre heating to make Bailiey's Irish Cream Cupcakes (rather than water I'll use Bailey's) and I'm going to make a Jameson Whiskey Icing to go with them. I'll also make a plain yellow cake with a Bailey's Icing and if I have time I'll make Bourbon Cupcakes. I'm also going to try my hand at Whiskey Balls and Rum Balls.

Did I mention I don't drink? At all? I'm Straight Edge without meaning to be. What I mean is I didn't set out saying "Oi! Right! I'm Straight Edge!"
Growing up I never did drugs. I've never done them. Not ever. I've never even smoked pot.
I used to drink back when I was a young doe and it would often lead me to do things...well things as an adult I shouldn't do. I would often find myself on the bar lifting up my shirt, which was fine back then but if I did it now I'd hit someone in the head with a boob and take an eye out with a nipple.
I would often (read EVERY WEEKEND) be found in dark corners with boys who I may or may not have ever seen again making out as though we depended on each other for air. I never got a name, and never remembered a face.
Got lots of phone numbers though!
As a married adult, I fear that my husband would frown on this behavior and so I gave up the booze.

When I did drink though I LOVED a glass of Bailey's on the rocks after a meal. SO creamy and sweet and yummy.

After the day I've had I'm eyeballing that bottle a little bit harder than I should. Thankfully I have every last drop earmarked for the cupcakes and the icing. Otherwise I think I'd be chugging the stuff straight from the bottle...

Maybe one day, in the safety and comfort of good gal pals I'll get hammered and show them all what the legend is about.

Not tonight though...

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