Sunday, February 28, 2010

Lap Band Surgery

On Wednesday my darling husband is going into the hospital for a life changing event called Lap Band Surgery.

The very capable doctor will slice into my poor husband with a laser and slip this simple looking tube around his stomach and create an access port on his side.
They will then inflate the tube with with saline and tighten or loosen the band as needed. He will have to have it adjusted a few times a year. Apparently this adjustment is something that is done int he doctors office. They insert a needle into the port and either remove or add saline as needed.

It is his goal to lose 150 pounds in one years time.

He is currently 6'3" and weighs 350 pounds. I have all the faith in the world that this surgery will be successful and will help him finally win the battle he's fought his whole life.

I'm excited and can't WAIT to see the weight loss and to track it in photos and blogs.
He has no idea I'm going to be doing this but I AM. He told me last night he doesn't want to blog about it or share it with anyone but I know that in a year from now he's going to wish he had. So I'll do it for him.

But back to the surgery...he goes in on Wednesday and then he will be home, home as in off of work, as in sitting next to me on the couch in our very teeny tiny apartment where there is no room to escape from each other unless you count the bathroom for four to six weeks.

Let me type that out again. I'm going to have a man, a large cranky, frustrated, angry, HUNGRY man home with me for 4 to 6 weeks.

Did I tell you his diet goes from shoving over 2,000 calories a day into his mouth down to about 700 a day? Did I mention that his first day home the menu he gave me shows for breakfast he can have a tablespoon. ONE TABLESPOON of cream of wheat?

My fridge and my cabinets are stocked to the brim with sugar free jello and pudding. My freezer overflowith with sugar free ice pops.

I have to wonder how this is all going to affect the kids and I. We won't be eating family dinners together again till August and even then PT can't ever eat a full meal again. Half a hard boiled egg will leave him feeling like he ate a 7 course meal.

I'm not a massive food person to start with but I DO have to eat. To eat in front of him seems mean and like a school yard taunt.

What I think I will be doing is making my lunch my dinner or having a very early dinner with the kids before he gets home from work. That way he doesn't have to see us eating things he can't.

Since he was the one that did all the cooking for us, that's going to have to change and quick. I'm going to have to learn some basic meals to keep us fed.

I'm stuck though on this 4 to 6 weeks of him being home. I know I'm just going to have to roll on and do my own thing like he's not here but I LOVE my alone time. I love the peace and quiet of being here by myself while the kids are in school. I love being able to crank up the music and I love being able to take naps if I want to.

Thank God it's getting warmer outside. This week is supposed to be in the 40's. I'll get my bike and be able to go for longer rides and HE can scoot over and pick up the kids from school!

I'll keep you updated as we go on but starting tomorrow he goes on a liquid diet.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Random Disney World Videos

Small World is Lion's favorite ride. We go on a minimum of 10 times each trip. PJ and PT are game for maybe two after that it's all me and the Lion. This is my favorite scene in the ride. LOVE the hippo. I think she's either drunk or stoned...

God help me I love this song and this parade. The first time we saw it the song was stuck in my head all day long. I loved it! Bubblegum pop all the way. Imagine my absolute horror and dismay when I discovered that the song is a reworded Hanna Montana song. Oh the shame! Damn it all though when we go to the parks I still make the fam stand and watch the parade and it's at the point now where I can do the cast member dance...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Spectromagic. Everyone else in my family hates it. I never get to see it. The only reason I got to see this much is because our train pulled into Main Street Station at just the right time

This is our home resort. Patrick can recite this spiel by heart..

Mommy HATES the arcade...everyone else loves it

This speaks for itself

This is called "Pin Trading" you buy a lanyard and then you buy pins for it. Cast members have lanyards of their own with pins of their own. If you see one you like, you ask them to trade with you. They must trade and cannot refuse. PJ is all into it.

This guy HATES his life and hates his job. We eat here all the time because it's one of the least busy places and it has characters. This guy is literally singing to us and one other family...

This is at the Honey I Shrunk The Kids Play Area. You come up on it at the top of a set of stairs and if you don't know what it is, it can be quite disturbing.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Horsey Days

I miss the horse and I miss the hair...

This was a horse show that wound up being a total disaster for me. My trainer had me in all the wrong classes and my horse knew better. He couldn't take big fences because the bones in his hock were fusing and he wasn't going to injure himself for me or anyone else. As a result he kept refusing and refusing the fences. I just wanted one clean round and so I moved him up as fast as we could go.
The whole point of this video is at the 1:27 mark.
It's just a tiny blip in time, less than 30 seconds but she's there, alive and happy...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Another Heavy Sigh

Issued by The National Weather Service
New York City, NY
4:52 pm EST, Thu., Feb. 25, 2010








Tri-State Area Gets Another Pow from Mother Nature

TRENTON, N.J. (AP/ 1010 WINS) -- Intensifying snow is making for difficult travel conditions in the Tri-State area late Thursday night, with more roads becoming snow covered and slippery.

The snowfall from this sloppy storm is expected to become steadier and heavier overnight before eventually tapering
to snow showers later Friday.

Police confirm what is thought to be this storm's first weather related death.

Central Park tree branch that struck and killed man.
(Photo:Carol D'Auria)
A 56-year-old man died when he was struck by a falling tree
branch as he was walking in Central Park at E. 67th Street and
Fifth Ave before 3:30 p.m. The man was pronounced dead at the scene.

The New York City Parks Dept. is advising people to avoid public parks this evening and use caution near street trees.

The region's airports are currently experiencing major delays, so customers are being advised to call their carrier for
specific flight information.

The MTA says all subways, buses, railroads and bridges & tunnels will be operating normally throughout the evening. A near-normal morning rush hour is anticipated for Friday, according to the MTA.

Metro-North says Thursday's evening commute went smoothly because many customers left work early. However, with the snow continuing overnight, Metro-North expects fewer customers Friday and will reduce trains by about two dozen. Riders should anticipate delays up to 15 minutes for Friday morning's commute.

Many locations in the Tri-State will endure gusts topping 50 mph at some point Thursday to Friday.

Wet snow weighing down trees would make it more likely for strong winds to knock them down. And power will probably be hardest to restore in areas where heavy snow keeps repair crews at bay.

New Jersey is battling outages as nearly 4,500 utility customers are without electric power. That number is expected to rise during the overnight hours as the storm intensifies.

A number of outages have been reported by Con Edison in the five boroughs, with over 400 customers being affected in Brooklyn. Over 11,000 customers are without power in Westchester, according to Con Edison.

A winter storm warning is in effect until 6 p.m. Friday.

AccuWeather says as much as a foot or two of snow may be possible, especially north and west of New York City.

Total snow accumulations for New York City are expected to be in the range of 6-12 inches. One to two feet will fall north and west of 287. Some areas, including Eastern Long Island, could see less accumulation, according to AccuWeather.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg says officials expect the snowfall will be manageable enough to keep public schools open Friday.

The mayor said if conditions are worse than predicted and schools must be closed, parents will be notified as soon as the decision is made.

Despite the blizzards that pounded the eastern seaboard earlier this year, this storm may be the worst one to take aim at the region this winter, according to AccuWeather.

High winds, heavy snow and torrential rains may lead to extensive damage and impact on travel.

New Jersey's Transportation Department spokesman Joe Dee says about 550 plows and spreaders have been deployed and will be monitoring road conditions. Well over 1,000 are in reserve.


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Heavy Sigh

Winter Storm Warning for Hudson, NJ

from 6 am EST, Thu., Feb. 25, 2010 until 6 pm EST, Fri., Feb. 26, 2010

Issued by The National Weather Service
New York City, NY
3:08 pm EST, Wed., Feb. 24, 2010






More Information



Monday, February 22, 2010

I need to get a hobby

Tomorrow is the big fundraising bake sale that I'm once again in charge of.
Because I have no life outside of my home and I'm an antisocial hermit baking is my thing. It's what I love to do and I think I do a rather kick ass job at it...

Having said that I always feel the need to shoulder the bulk of the items for the sales. It's a point of personal pride that we make this sale a success and that means we need a table full of nummy goodies.

I woke up not feeling quite right today after not sleeping much last night.
At boot camp I got lightheaded and a little dizzy but pushed through it. After class I walked to the post office and felt like a lead balloon. It took me forever to get there and back.

I shrugged it off and came home and baked. Three different kinds of mini cupcakes, pancake batter cupcakes, Lemon Squares, I dipped Twinkies in chocolate, I dunked Oreos in chocolate and sprinkles, I made S'Mores on sticks, I made mini apple pies and Easter Peeps went for a swim in melted milk chocolate and through it all I've had a massive raging headache.

I can't get rid of it. I've tried Motrin, Asprin, Caffeine, cold packs, a nap, dinner, and I can't shake it.

I'm going to bed now and will set my alarm early to get up and frost all the cupcakes. Hopefully without a headache...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Cough

So I'm headed up this bake sale for school on Tuesday. Today PJ woke up not feeling well. Throwing up, tummy ache, lethargy.
As the day progressed he felt better and then all of a sudden he got this cough. It's this awful deep lung serious cough.
The kid doesn't sound good at all.
I'm burying my head in the sand and will bake as promised for the sale but if he's not feeling well I can't work the table.

We will see how he feels when he wakes up but right now I'm not sure I'll be sending him to school. This cough is messing with his sleep and he's going to be exhausted tomorrow.

A sick sous chef. Just what I need...

It's all about me!

I have the hardest time talking about myself.
I hate doing it and having to do it or being asked to do it gives me mini panic attacks.
I don't mean here in a blog or in my endless every 3o second facebook updates or in email.
I mean face to face, real life person to person one on one conversations.

I hate discussing issues, problems, troubles, worries, woes, anger, arguments...anything that might require me to discuss anything deep, really deep about myself or anything that leaves me open and vulnerable makes me feel super anxious.

By contrast I have no problem sharing embarrassing moments with folks (the time I rode the NYC pubic bus from school on 86th street down to 9th street and the hem of my skirt was completely tucked into my underwear and no one had the decency to share with me that they could all see my underwear. ALL of my underwear.)

I have no problem sharing stories that highlight what a buffoon I can be (the reason I no longer drink is because I no longer think my boobs are cute enough to show off to an entire bar)

I'll discuss, peeing, pooping, farting, vomiting, birth, labor, sex, drugs, and rock and roll all in one story but ask me to talk about my problems with my family or my husband and I break into a cold sweat.

I guess it's because I don't want people to judge my husband or my parents for the icky evil stories that I might tell about them.

Usually the in person discussion comes when the moment of anger or discord has passed and I often feel foolish for ranting and raving in the heat of the moment.

I have the ability to forgive and forget (or at times just forgive) to let whatever it was go and move on. I've always been this way. Heated and passionate in the moment. A penchant for drama and flair for angst but when the sun rises on a new day my anger is gone and the issue is usually done and gone for me.

Of course though my friends being friends are still concerned and feel that I want to talk and discuss and bash and whine. I usually don't and that's when I'm embarrassed and have those mini panic attacks.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Boot Camp

So you've all heard me rave about boot camp but tonight I took a look at my arms (which are killing me from two days of upper body work) and I'm REALLY digging what I'm seeing. My shoulders have definition and the fat flab that once hung around my arms is slowly being replaced by sexy strong muscle. Our coach tells us to visualize what we are working towards and it will help us get to our goals faster.
My goal is two fold. The first is to look good in a tank top. That's not that big a goal but I never wear them because up until now, I've hated my flabby blobby arms. I'm starting to like what I see!
My second goal is to get sexy enough to get a new tattoo. After 12 years I FINALLY convinced PT that he wants to let me get one and he's cool with it. It's going to be on my right shoulder and it's going to be a rather large one so I want my back to look good so I can show it off.

I'm getting there. I'm getting there. I'm just so happy I found this class and I'm really loving how it's making me feel and how I'm starting to look.

I decided that my goals would also be more than superficial appearance oriented goals. I ran across a video of a woman working with a 75 pound Kettlebell and here is her blog

I watched this video a couple times in a row the first time I saw it and I knew THAT is what I wanted to be doing. THAT is my goal. I want to lift the 32kg Kettlebell (75 pounds).

I want to improve my overall strength. I don't want to be a musclebound body builder but I want definition in my muscles. I want to work on strength training.
So those are my goals and that's what I'm reaching for.

and this is what I'm looking like after 5 months of training.


I never and I mean NEVER EVER EVER get to sleep in. NEVER. In the 6 years my children have been on the planet I think I've slept past 7 maybe 5 times and those times were on overnights.
The dog is always up to go out between 5:30 and 6am and since I'm the only one who deals with him I'm the one to get up. The second I'm up so are the kids.

Today I was up at 6 and still feeling really tired so I went back to bed for an hour. Bad bad idea.
I woke up an hour later to Lion telling me he had poopie which was now all over him and the floor and the walls and the dog was eating the diaper.

I threw him in a tub, cleaned up the poop around the apartment, fed the kids and started to make the poster for the PTO bake sale. (You know the one that I'm starting to SERIOUSLY resent because of the lack of help I'm getting on it)

It's not going the way I want it to at ALL and so now I'm even more cranky than I was before.

While I'm on the topic let me discuss this bake sale. It's going to be awful. I know this already. We aren't going to make much money at all.

I have about 10 parents baking (all are making chocolate chip cookies and brownies) and no one has volunteered to help with the table which means I'll be there all day.

Bitch, bitch, bitch....

Friday, February 19, 2010

Inbetween Worlds

I'm sitting here feeling so exhausted right now.
My body is trying to decide if it wants to get full blow flu like sick or swing the other way and just have a bad cold.
Today when I dropped the kids off one of the other mothers looked at me and in an alarmed/concerned mommy voice said "Are you okay? You don't look good"
She grew a little more concerned when I told her I felt like something out of the gutter but I was still going to boot camp.

Somehow I made it through boot camp. I have NO idea how I did it. I had to summon every single ounce of energy in my body and even then I was the kid doin her own thing. When they were doing jumping jacks I went and grabbed the ledge along the wall and did mountain climbers. (My boobs really hate jumping jacks) and when we were doing knee to chest I had to do them from an all fours doggy style position.

I got home sat down and realized that I was indeed getting sick.
If I stayed seated I would never get the errands run that I needed to get done so with a little groan I hoisted my tush out of the chair found my shoes called a cab and went into the city.

I got all my errands done which included a run to Staples where I wound up getting poster board and letter cut outs for the sign for the bake sale.

I also had this super cute idea for something I want to have on the table (it's a surprise!) and so I got construction paper as well.

I also got markers so I can make all the signs for the items ahead of time and they don't look like a 2 year old made them like they did last time.

As I'm sitting here typing this, these projects are looming over me, filling me with a sense of doom and heaviness. My creative side is in hibernation and while I really want to get this all done the way I feel now...

Belated Birthday Lunch

Yesterday a group of my gal pals and my sister (who's really one of my gal pals as well) went to Alice's Tea Cup for my birthday lunch.
We had SUCH a great time and I'm so lucky to have them.

I don't have a huge social network of friends. I've never worked that way.
I would much rather have three or four super tight, close girlfriends who I can call on at any time and know they will always be there for me and no matter where we go or what we do, we are always going to be able to be ourselves and we are always going to laugh a LOT. I know I can wear my nesting bird hair clip and my neon orange flats and they won't even flinch.

One of our musketeers was missing due to an eye appointment but we managed to have a great time all the same.

Alice's is a wonderful place with three locations and all are really nice. The tea is of course wonderful but the food is always top notch and everyone I bring there is always super surprised at how good it is.

Alice's has amazing scones and super yummy desserts and the tea sandwiches are so good.

We had to wait for a table which was fine because we had some comical parking issues that ate up a good deal of our time and when we finally got there we were seated almost right away.

As we walked through the dining room my eyes were drawn to a table in the corner that had two girls seated at it. I immediately wrote them off as the kind of girls I went to school with. Wealthy, entitled, brownstone dwelling, private school attending obnoxious princesses.

As it turns out one of them was one of the stars of the new 90210.

Don't ask me which one it was because clearly I wouldn't know her if I tripped over her.

I think I have to remind myself more often not to be so quick to judge folks....

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Behavior Assessment System for Children

So the school has given me this form to fill out for the meeting today about Lion.

I HATE these forms. I'm supposed to answer the questions and turn my very complex child into a black and white object by telling these folks "Sometimes, Always or Never"

Does your child ever hit other children?
Does your child ever throw temper tantrums?
Does your child share?

Seriously? He's a 4 1/2 year old child on the Autism Spectrum with delayed speech and delayed social skills. You are kidding me right?

Another Bake Sale

PJ is in kindergarten and it's the very first year his school has a kindergarten class in it. Lion is in the same building which makes for a very happy mommy.
With the formation of the kindergarten we formed a PTO (like a PTA but without the legal aspects) and I'm on the fund-raising committee and the Family Fun Committee.

If you know me at all, you know that fund-raising is what I love to do and if you've followed this blog at all, you know that I'm knee deep in a large scale fundraiser of my own design for Autism Speaks.

I think I like to challenge (read torture) myself by accepting as many challenges as I can in a short period of time.

People know that I enjoy helping and volunteering and so I'm often approached to help with either fund-raising or school related events or activities where they need friendly smiles and warm bodies. This week I've been asked to donate my time to help other parents at the pre-k open house tomorrow morning.

Having two boys who have been in the 3 and 4 year old programs in both HOPES and Head Start (The two programs offered at the school) AND having one also receiving special services I think that makes me as qualified as anyone to put other mommies and daddies at ease that their precious little Jacks and Jills will grow, thrive, flourish and have a wonderful time at school.

The next week I've been asked to do the same for the Kindergarten program PLUS I'm running another fund-raising bake sale for the PTO.

Of course we all know how much I love to bake and I LOVE a good bake sale so I've got plans galore for this weekend that involve being elbow deep in dipping chocolate and frosting and cupcakes and cookies. Of course this bake sale isn't MINE and it's not for Autism Speaks or another charity of my choosing but it's for the kids and the school and so I tend to do slightly nutso planning and I go a little (a lot) overboard with my menu and what I'll be making.

So far here is my menu:

Chocolate dipped Twinkies
Chocolate dipped oreos
S'Mores on a stick (two marshmallows dipped in chocolate and rolled in graham crackers)
Pancake Cupcakes with maple buttercream frosting and maple bacon
Red Velvet Cupcakes with cream cheese icing
Caramel Cupcakes with Banana Cream Cheese frosting
Carrot Cake Cookies with cream cheese centers
Wilderness Lodge Cookies
Butterscotch Oatmeal Cookies
Caramel Brownies
Mini Pies on a stick
Worms in dirt (Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and gummi worms)
Mini Cupcakes of various types

This weekend is going to be insane around here with baking!!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

My birthday

Today is my birthday.
Today is one of the only days of the year that I wonder if my birth mother thinks about me and wonders where and who I am...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Midwest Rock Fest

Oh my God they are attempting it AGAIN...

This time though I have no interest in attending. Styx and Y&T? Gonna pass...lemmie know when you sign Tigertailz...

Yahoo Contact Suggestions

Yahoo has no idea how much I wish I could follow through with their suggestion of a friend to add to my contact list but unless they have Yahoo on the other side Chrissy ain't gonna respond to a request to add her...

It's a new day

Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterdays.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

(Deep breath) In with the good, out with the bad. Today is a brand new day and it's my pre-birthday celebration day. Tonight the boys and I will go and play with Chinese Lions and celebrate the Year of the Tiger!

I'm making myself a cute marabou barrette to wear tonight and I have to find my favorite red turtleneck sweater and I'm gonna wear makeup and my kids and I are going to dance with the Lion and feed them dollars to ensure luck for this coming year and I am going to pray and meditate on how to best tackle this issue in my marriage.

I'm going to formulate a plan on how to find my voice and to not attack my husband and figure out how we can work as a team to get past this and get back on the road we want to and need to be on...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Kung Hey Fat Choy!

Tomorrow is both Valentine's Day AND the Chinese New Year so Smooches and Kung Hey Fat Choy!
I adore both holidays but I think the celebrations attached to the Chinese New Year rank higher.
As a wee girl I remember my parents taking us to Chinatown to celebrate the New Year and I fell madly in love with the Chinese Dragon and the amazing dances they do and was always afraid of the firecrackers they set off.

Last year we went to a restaurant in Brooklyn right by my dad's place to celebrate the New Year and they had dragon dancers there and I LOVED them! We were all given red envelopes to place a dollar in and then we "fed" them to the dragons. Lion wanted NOTHING at ALL to do with them but Patrick adored them and even chased one to feed it another envelope (The photo above)

It turns out they are having a two night celebration and the second and last night is on my birthday on Tuesday. I really want to go!

Some info on the New Year celebration and video of some dragon dances

Taboos and Superstitions of Chinese New Year

House Cleaning

The entire house should be cleaned before New Year's Day. On New Year's Eve, all brooms, brushes, dusters, dust pans and other cleaning equipment are put away. Sweeping or dusting should not be done on New Year's Day for fear that good fortune will be swept away. After New Year's Day, the floors may be swept. Beginning at the door, the dust and rubbish are swept to the middle of the parlor, then placed in the corners and not taken or thrown out until the fifth day. At no time should the rubbish in the corners be trampled upon. In sweeping, there is a superstition that if you sweep the dirt out over the threshold, you will sweep one of the family away. Also, to sweep the dust and dirt out of your house by the front entrance is to sweep away the good fortune of the family; it must always be swept inwards and then carried out, then no harm will follow. All dirt and rubbish must be taken out the back door.

Bringing In the New Year and

Expelling the Old

Shooting off firecrackers on New Year's Eve is the Chinese way of sending out the old year and welcoming in the New Year. On the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, every door in the house, and even windows, have to be open to allow the old year to go out.

New Year Activities Set Precendent

All debts had to paid by this time. Nothing should be lent on this day, as anyone who does so will be lending all the year. Back when tinder and flint were used, no one would lend them on this day or give a light to others.

Everyone should refrain from using foul language and bad or unlucky words. Negative terms and the word "four" (Ssu), which sounds like the word for death, are not to be uttered. Death and dying are never mentioned and ghost stories are totally taboo. References to the past year are also avoided as everything should be turned toward the New Year and a new beginning.

If you cry on New Year's day, you will cry all through the year. Therefore, children are tolerated and are not spanked, even though they are mischievous.

Personal Appearance and Cleanliness

On New Year's Day, we are not suppose to wash our hair because it would mean we would have washed away good luck for the New Year. Red clothing is preferred during this festive occasion. Red is considered a bright, happy color, sure to bring the wearer a sunny and bright future. It is believed that appearance and attitude during New Year's sets the tone for the rest of the year. Children and unmarried friends, as well as close relatives are given lai see, little red envelopes with crisp one dollar bills inserted, for good fortune.

More New Year Superstitions

For those most superstitious, before leaving the house to call on others, the Almanac should be consulted to find the best time to leave the home and the direction which is most auspicious to head out.

The first person one meets and the first words heard are significant as to what the fortunes would be for the entire year. It is a lucky sign to see or hear songbirds or red-colored birds or swallows.

It is considered unlucky to greet anyone in their bedroom so that is why everyone, even the sick, should get dressed and sit in the living room.

Do not use knives or scissors on New Year's Day as this may cut off fortune.

While many Chinese people today may not believe in these do's and don'ts, these traditions and customs are still practiced. These traditions and customs are kept because most families realize that it is these very traditions, whether believed or not, that provide continuity with the past and provide the family with an identity.

We are the world

There are some things in this world that should be left alone.
The original of "We are the world" is most assuredly one of those things. I am a child of the 80's. It is by far my favorite decade for almost everything but music above all else.

This song was brilliant when it was recorded 25 years ago and I think it should have either been rerecorded with the original artists or left alone. Or hey! Here's an idea! Rerelease the original and use that!

Nope, they had to "update" it with the stars of today. It sucks. Worse than my vacuum.

Don't take my word, check it out...

You know you're a mom when

Overcome by brutal cramps and unable to find the grownup pain killers you resort to taking 4 children's Tylenol...

Friday, February 12, 2010

The way back machine

I know I've blogged about the loss of my best friend but tonight I'm missing her something fierce. More than usual. Not a single day goes by that I don't think of her or remember her. There will always be a hole in my world and a sense of a serious injustice having been done.

I went onto You Tube and found some of the band we used to lust for and listen to all the time. Hearing these songs, many I haven't heard in 15 years flooded me with memories I'd forgotten, and I found myself smiling and crying at the same time. Flooding her bathroom with aerosol Aquanet, trying to figure out if we should wear the purple fishnets with the zebra spandex dress or the boustier with the leather mini. Driving around in her 1970 something souped up camero muscle car

If you want to get to know me better take a gander at these videos. It will explain a whole lot about me. Yes, every single photo of every single person in these videos are boys. 100% males. Lordy how we loved and lusted for these boys...
I love you and miss you girl...

Heart Throb Mob

Queeny Blast Pop

The Glamour Punks

The Orphan Punks


Big Bang Babies

This band is dear to my heart as we took care of them for a couple of days. Chrissy was uhm...seeing the bass player and they were some of the coolest guys I've ever hung out with...


So I'm practicing to be a Christian. I think. What I mean is one of my dearest friends is teaching me and guiding me down the path of the bible so I can ultimately decide if I'm ready to accept God into my life or not.

The more I try to become one with the religion, the more I'm sure my husband and my children are Satan's Minions.

They keep stepping in the way of my going to places to further my learning. I mean who else but Satan or one of his insane henchmen would keep tripping me up and blocking my way?

I'm kidding here...sort of...

I know that church and bible study are really crucial parts of being a Christian and so I want to try to make them a part of my journey.

Tonight I was all set to attend a bible study group at said friends house. I had told PT all about it and he was okay coming home and watching the kids for an hour or two.

He called and he was running super late. He finally arrived home and Lion would not let me walk out the door. He attached himself to me like velcro and I couldn't remove him for all the Chocolate Milk in the world.

I tried EVERYTHING to get him calmed down and let me walk out the door. "MOMMY NO GO" seemed to be the theme of the evening. I even let him play with my IPhone (of course I realized too late that I'd need to take it away from him and take it with me. That didn't go over so well)
I tried sleeping on the couch and I tried sleeping in mommy's bed.
"Mommy too?" with those big chocolate brown eyes staring up at me dotted with tears.
"No sweetie. Mommy has to go out"

and the tears would start again.

I WISH I could figure out why sometimes he could give a duck's bill that I'm leaving and I have to chase him down to get a kiss or a hug and then there are nights like tonight when he can't breathe without me and will have a complete breakdown if I leave his line of sight.

I never know which way he's going to swing and it forces me to always err on the side of having no social life.

God, I tried tonight. I really did. I wanted to get to that group to share your words and learn more about you and your son but my son wasn't having it and sometimes he's more powerful than even you....

Life is far too short

Because life is WAY too short to be serious all the time and once in a while you need to shake it up and laugh.
I'm wearing this darling accessory to pickup at school today...
oh and I'm also manning the bake sale sign up table.

moments I don't want to forget

Lion came out of the bedroom this morning looking sad and calling for me. I was busy making brownies so I glanced at him
"Waddya need sweetpea"?
"PJ" and he pointed at his forehead
Of course I thought this meant PJ and walloped his brother in the dome for messing with his video game so I barked at him
"PJ, did you hit your little brother?"
"NO! I swear I didn't hit him"
I looked at Lion again
"PJ. Wipes"
"Wipes Mommy"
"Okay, whatever they are on the couch"
and I went back to making brownies.
Curiosity got the better of me and so I decided to follow Lion and see what was up.
"Here, PJ I clean you"
and he walked over to his big brother and gently wiped PJ's forehead which I guess had some foreign matter on it.
"There you go. All better"

Moments like that one I don't want to forget. I hope my guys always look out for each other like that...

Valentine's Cupcakes part 2

The Cupcakes are finished and frosted. Don't know that I'll ever use this frosting recipe for adults because I think all my teeth just fell out it's so sweet but the kiddos are 6 and they don't gave a rats rear end.

I made two special ones for my guys.
One for PJ who doesn't care for sprinkles

and one for Lion who will be with me during the party since he has a 12:30 dismissal today
I also feel the need to tell you that as I'm writing this post my IPOD decided to shuffle to Chicago's "You're the inspiration" and so it's now blaring like I have the band in my living room...

Valentine's Cupcakes

I absolutely HATE when people think they've gotten the best of me or think they are smarter or superior. I hate it even more when I'm bested by a stupid silicone cupcake tray.
I woke up at 6am and they were sitting there in my dishwasher mocking me, laughing at me in that quiet "isn't she stupid" way. I can hear them "She's a nice gal but not too bright. She can't even get her cupcakes out of us!"

Let me back up. Today PJ's class is having a Valentine's Day party at school being the Cupcake Queen that I am and loving Valentine's the way that I do I was asked to bring in cupcakes to class.

I decided it would be fun to use my heart shaped silicone molds. I've had some trouble with them hanging onto cakes in the past so I made sure to grease liberally this time around.

30 cute heart shaped cupcakes went into the oven and I waited.

This is a photo of the last two trays that I went a little berserk on slamming them against the counter hissing LET. THEM. GO!! GIVE. ME. MY. CUPCAKES. YOU. $%@#$%@(& TRAY!!!

I started all over and made traditional cupcakes in liners and went to bed.
This morning I got up and there they were, bright red and happy looking all clean in my dishwasher.
I was going to give them away. Get rid of them and chalk it up to a bad purchase. (Heaven forbid the issue might be with ME or MY baking)
Then I heard them laughing and I yanked them out of the dishwasher, slapped them down on the counter and had a heart to heart with them.
"Listen guys" I said.
"We shouldn't be fighting! We are on the same team! You guys don't want to wind up in the basement in a box with the broken Cuisinart and the steamer we don't use! Can't we try to work this out and work together?"

They sat quietly listening, deciding.

I remembered somewhere a long time ago I read about making brownies and dusting the pan with coco rather than flour after you greased them up.

I decided to try an experiment. 4 trays, 4 different ways of lubing them up. The first has spray on oil and coco powder. The second has just spray oil. The third has crisco and the fourth has butter.

Two are out and cooling. The others are still in the oven.

We will see if they decided to play nice this time around....

I'm updating this post to tell you that they seemed to really like the brownies I made in them and they came out really well!

Writing Style

I love blogs. I mean I love other folks blogs. I love blogs about baking and blogs about travel, blogs about gossip and blogs about motherhood.
I read some of them and I wish I were half as good a writer as some of these folks. The way they put words together. It floors me. It's like music for my eyes.
I wish I could write that way because so often I stumble over my words, drop thoughts, don't explain myself clearly and end abruptly.
Maybe I'll try to make a video blog today and see how that goes.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Domestic Doldrums

I'm addicted to Facebook. (Those on my friends list let me apologize right now for my endless stream of every 30 second updates. I'm sure many of you have me blocked and I wouldn't blame you and won't hold it against you)

The nice thing about Facebook is that it's allowed me to find people from my past that I would never have found otherwise.
With that however I have begun to feel a little left out. Many of my pals are still single with no kids and they are planning art shows, drag shows, vacations, events, they go to clubs, (did I mention vacations?) galleries, out to eat (did I mention vacations?) and appear to have a grand time doing it.

I see lots of my friends out there loud and proud being EXACTLY who they want to be doing EXACTLY what they want to be doing and never once apologizing for it.

I no longer dye my hair or get my nails done because I don't have the time to dedicate to the upkeep of either. I don't go shopping because really, where the hell do I go other than to and from school to get the kids?

Back in 2006 my hair was neon pink. I was so damn happy. I loved that color. PT and my mother shut it down. PT said "This isn't high school anymore" and my mother said it was irresponsible. I gave into peer pressure and dyed it back to a natural color.

I haven't had it colored since.

I'm dying for a couple of new tattoos. PT doesn't like them and so I've pestered him for 12 years to get a new one and so far nothing.

There are days when I feel like I'm drowning. Not being allowed to be who I am. If however I was given the freedom to not have to make the cupcakes and take them to school, to dye my hair, to go on trips, to tattoo head to toe would that make me happy?

I of course know the answer. No, no it would not. Not for one tiny second. To have those freedoms would mean that I didn't have PT and I didn't have my boys. Without them I'm lost.

So I'll roll on with my natural colored hair and tattoo free arms and yes, when I see someone with pink hair and tattoos I'll feel envious but only for a second and then I'll remind myself about how happy PJ was when I made cupcakes and took them to his classroom or how Lion runs to greet me each day when I pick him up from school.

I'm blessed and I know it. Once in a while though I get the domestic doldrums...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Yesterday when I picked up the boys from school one of the gals from the office who keeps an eye on the classroom and really is a friend to parents and kids got me in the hall. This is not the first time this month. It seems my angelic little Lion is doing a whole lot more lashing out at his classmates and yesterday he punched a kid and made him bleed.
She said that the school psychologist wants to meet with both of us to see what we can do to get a handle on the seemingly escalating violent behavior.
Of course I'm open to this meeting and welcome it even. I will never turn down assistance or advice on how to parent better from those who know.

I've been trying to figure out how to approach this meeting. I'm going to go in with an open mind and open heart but at the same time I want to make them understand that I KNOW what is going on and why he behaves this way. I know because he's always behaved this way. It's nothing new.

Lion does not share well. (My telling you this is like my telling you that NYC has a few people living in it) One of the traits that comes with the PDD-NOS is stunted social skills.
Lion is learning slowly how to play with his new friends and how to interact. Sharing is of course one of the basic skills needed to be social. Lion will not share. Okay that's an overstatement. Let's say when he does share it's always a surprise to me and always brings a smile to my face. It's that rare a bird.

The typical interaction will be someone asking him for toys, asking him to share something he has. Lion's answer will almost always be NO. If the issue is pushed by the other child ie: another request for the toy or game or book, the request will again be denied but with more force.
The no is more emphatic and louder and often his body language will become defensive and ready to fight. He will often cover the toy with his body or turn around so his back is to the child.
Kids being what they are will at this point react in one of four ways and their reaction will determine how Lion behaves.
They will either
1. Walk away
2. Get mad at Lion and yell
3. Try to take the toy anyway
4. Knock down or try to break whatever he has. (the whole if I can't have it you can't either thing)

One and two give the other kid a chance of walking away unharmed. Three and four will always set him off like a Lion. He will bite, hit throw, slap, kick the other child.

If his language skills were stronger, if they were where they should be he would tell them he's angry and what they did was mean. He would try to use words rather than hands and feet. Lion doesn't have those skills yet. He's a little more primal than his classmates.

Consider your dog. What does the dog do when you try to take his food? He hunkers down and often will growl at you. If you make another pass at his food he's likely to lash out at you and try to bite you.

Same thing.

I don't know for sure but I'd bet my bottom dollar that all of the incidences with Lion have happened when the issue of sharing comes into play.

I want to explain all this to them but I need to go in without a chip on my shoulder and a little bit of humility. While I know my son better than anyone else they have seen hundreds of kids march through these classrooms and I'm guessing they know and have seen things I haven't even thought of.

As a parent it's such a hard line to walk. I want to make them understand WHY Lion does what he does. Make them see the reason behind his actions. I want to defend my son and I want to show them he's an amazing kid with so much potential but at the same time I don't want to come across as a parent who thinks their kids poop doesn't stink. I don't know it all. What I know you could most likely fit into a thimble with room left over. I'm flying blind with this whole parenting gig. I'm relying on instinct, common sense and a healthy sense of humor.

I want to do what is right for everyone involved. I want his classmates to feel safe and want to get along with Lion. I want Lion to learn and understand that it's NOT okay to hit and throw and I really want to not get stopped in the hall anymore.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

#$@%$#^$% Snow

Yes it's beautiful and pristine and fun to frolic in and catch on your tongue.
It's also keeping my kids home from school tomorrow.
That means I can't go to boot camp and the conference call I'm supposed to have at 8:45 is going to be near impossible to have.
Supposed to get 12 to 18 inches...

What just happened?

It's 3:20am and I've been up since 1:30am after having gone to bed at around 11:00pm.

I can't go back to bed. I didn't say I can't go back to sleep. I said I can't go back to bed. I mean I physically cannot go back to bed.

There isn't any room there for me.

Two children and a husband have completely spread out sucking up any room I might be able to wiggle into like a black hole sucks up light.

About an hour ago I tried to go and sleep in one of the kids beds. It was a joke so I gave it up and resigned myself to the fact that while my family sleeps blissfully mommy is only going to get two and a half hours of sleep tonight.

Motherhood is SO much fun!!!

No, I won't disturb the kids or my darling husband who sleeps like the dead and can't hear anything when he's hibernating.

If I move the kids that will be the end of sleep for the evening and I'll have to be up anyway but rather than being alone, I'll have two kids demanding things of me.

Did I mention that when I decided that the whole kid bed thing wasn't working for me I came into the kitchen and almost broke my neck with a slip and fall that would have made a Warner Brothers character stand and applaud me? Arms flailing, feet spinning like the road runner and I swear I hovered in the air for about 30 seconds before crashing to earth.

Humphrey peed on the floor.

He now refuses to look at me.

Smart hound...

Of course I was going to use today to run a whole bunch of errands that I need to get done since tonight we are supposed to be socked with a serious snow storm that's going to dump 12 to 18 inches of snow on us.

Yeah. None of those are going to happen today I don't think.

I'm tired and want to go to sleep.

Maybe I'll try the other kids bed.

Just call me Goldilocks.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

If the kids don't kill me the dog is going to

I am a food slave to a Basset Hound.
His name is Humphrey but more often goes by Sir Fuzzy Butt.
We got him when he was only 8 weeks old. He's now 10 1/2. He's so good with the kids. Patient and kind and tolerant though in his old age he's become quite the curmudgeon. He spends his day sleeping or surfing the floors for food.

Since the boys were added to our family, his life has few bright spots. Hot Dog night is high on his list. Pizza night is not far behind but his two bright spots are my mother and sister.

Lordy does he love these women. He does back flips for them and turns into a school boy with a crush.
My mother came to visit yesterday and he didn't know she was coming. If a dog could smile, he was beaming like the winner of the lottery. TAKEMEOUTTAKEMEOUTTAKEMEOUTPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE TAKEMEOUT. See, they take him on nice long walks around the block or in the warm weather around the neighborhood. He sees them and he KNOWS he's going out to sniff and mark and be social with any other dogs he might see. He knows when he comes home he's going to get a cookie and a lap to put his head in and he's going to get love. Lots and lots of love.
Not that he doesn't get that from me. It's just different.

Once in a while we will take him out to the yard and let him gallop around. I almost always regret doing it but he loves it so much.
In the summer he always comes back with a tick or two or he rolls in poop left by other dog owners or the cats. Oh the cats.
Two feral cats have taken up residence in our yard and someone has put out a shelter for them and puts out food and water for them.

Yesterday Humphrey made a beeline for their food and before I could stop him he had almost licked their bowl clean.

Today he woke up super duper sick.
Pooping all over the house, vomiting, peeing everywhere, more lethargic than usual...
I'd had plans to take the kids to the movies with my pal and her much loved offspring. (The boys were fighting over the daughter and who was going to hold her hand)
I crossed my fingers and went despite the dog's condition. I figured it was just an hour and he would be fine.
I get a text from PT.
"The dog is pooping and peeing all over. What do I do?"
Did I mention that PT will not take care of the dog. He does not walk him, will not be responsible for him and while he loves him (I think) he wants no part of what the dog might need, or want.
Humphrey is all me and all my responsibility.
I knew I had to leave the movie and take care of the mess. Thankfully my pal offered to bring my munchkins home at the end of the film and I hopped into a cab and zoomed home.

I've spend the rest of my day catering to the hound.
I know he doesn't feel well. I get it but he's starting to become that irritating sick patient who has a bell by their bed and rings it when they need you. Humphrey doesn't ring. He WHINES. It's just 9:00 in the past hour he's gone out NINE TIMES. NINE.
I'm afraid to call his bluff and tell him to stuff it lest he poops all over the floor again. (I've already cleaned up two floor poops and about 6 poopie diapers today. No more poop for me till tomorrow morning.)
Dude, it's 23 degrees outside and I have no idea where your leash or harness are. I've been taking him out using a belt in a loop around his neck and the last 4 times I haven't even put my coat on!

He hasn't eaten anything but he's drinking a whole lot which is why he has to go out.
If he's feeling better tomorrow we will go to white rice and steamed chicken.
If he isn't feeling better tomorrow I'm going to go out for a walk and I might not coming back.
Between him and the kids and PT Monday seriously cannot come fast enough!!!
Mommy needs a break from taking care of folks and dogs!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Five Boro Bike Ride

I'm completely out of my mind. This proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
NOT ONLY am I singlehandedly organizing a really large scale serious bake off Fund Raiser for Autism Speaks in April (which I'm going to be bugging you about when the website is up and running) I've now signed myself up for the Five Boro Bike Tour in May. 42 miles people. I've signed myself up to pedal 42 miles.
Off my flippin rocker.
If I can raise $500 between now and May 1st I will be able to bike with the Autism Speaks team and that's why I'm doing it.
That's why I've signed up for the Bike Tour. That and I think while I slept last night I had a full frontal Lobotomy...
If I can get 100 folks to donate $5 to Autism Speaks I'll have my team entry funds raised.
Think I can do it?
Think I'll survive?

Taking place the first Sunday in May each year, the adventure starts in Lower Manhattan. The ride heads north through the heart of Manhattan to Central Park and continues on to historic Harlem and the Bronx, returning south along the East River on the FDR Drive. From there it crosses into Queens and then Brooklyn, where cyclists take over the highway before making the thrilling climb up--and down--the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge to Staten Island. The route is 42 miles, mostly flat except for the bridges.

The ride lands on Staten Island at a fun outdoor Festival, including bike demos, a mountain bike stunt show, giveaways, games, a wonderful food concession, product samples, stretching, massage, a photo booth, and official merchandise on sale. Leave plenty of time to check out the exhibitors and activities and then visit the Fort Wadsworth Overlook for a scenic photo before continuing the final three miles to the ferry.


Oy! Boot Camp left me feeling very wobbly today! My arms are like rubber! I'm addicted to that class though. It feels so good when it's done and I'm loving the results I'm feeling in my legs and my arms...

Tomorrow I have the Tyra Banks Show taping so today I have to go shopping for something that isn't all black, or all white or have sequins on it...
These three are my go to for dressy items in my closet
Clearly all are rather bold prints and I'm guessing the TV camera has a hard time with this sort of pattern.
My other two items in my wardrobe are two red tops but my pants are khakis. Maybe I'll head to Target and see what they have...