Friday, December 10, 2010

Tomorrow and the future

If I don't think too much, I don't cry.
Today I went to pick up the phone to call her as I did every afternoon for the past 6 or 7 years.
I can hear her voice and it makes me smile.
I feel sort of silly crying when Mike isn't and not crying when he is.
It's been a rough couple of days around here.

I did call the house but to see how my father in law was doing.
41 years they were married and for the past 15 he's been taking care of her hand and foot.

The past year, as she fell further and further down the rabbit hole of illness, she was his entire life. He couldn't leave the house, never went out with friends and did nothing spontaneous. He retired to take care of her and give her the round the clock care she needed.

Mike went down yesterday because it was dad's birthday. He says the house should have a revolving door on it for all the visitors and well wishers.
My FIL is a retired Police Lieutenant and is well liked all over the community. He's got friends in all places.

Tomorrow should be a zoo with people coming to pay respects to her.
We decided to bring the boys and so I sat them down and tried to explain death to them.  Lion could care less and PJ wants to know if she's going to be a zombie.
I'm thinking that tomorrow is either going to be smooth with them or awful.
The service and wake are all in one. 2 hours with the priest speaking at 3:30 and then we are going to eat.
I think I will be fine till the priest does his thing.

It's going to be a long day. I'm packing 8 mini packs of tissues...

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