Halloween

I think Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday followed by Valentine's Day.
I love decorating the house (apartment/shoebox) and planning costumes.
So when I ran across this beauty well...I'm dying to have her. As a family though, we've decided to do a Star Wars theme so I'm doing Princess Leia instead this year.
I'm still dying to buy her...

MS Bike Tour

So I'm considering NOT doing the MS Bike Tour on Sunday.
I'm not going to rent a bike for this one so it would be Bison and I.
I know she and I did 30 miles in May but after last weekend I'm lacking in the confidence department.

Don't get me wrong, I really do WANT to do it. The weather is supposed to be stupendous (High of 61 low of 48 and sunny).

It would be Bison and I. I'm trying to map the route to find elevations but I don't think there is TOO much in the way of hills.
Here is the wikipedia description of the FDR Drive.
Route description
FDR Drive passing Brooklyn Bridge

The FDR Drive starts at the southern tip at South and Broad Streets and becomes elevated to a point between Jackson Street and Gouverneur Slip, near the Manhattan Bridge exit. From there it is at street level, until it passes underneath Houston St overpass, then continues at grade. Once past the 14th St curve, it becomes elevated briefly, except the northbound roadway is at street level when passing through Waterside Plaza between 23rd and 34th Streets, then realigns with the southbound roadway above ground.

The roadway quickly dips onto street level after passing 42nd St, the southbound roadway is inside a later structure resembling a tunnel while the northbound roadway appears to be on the outside of the tunnel. This is due to the construction of the United Nations Headquarters on a platform above the FDR which is at grade. From 51st to 63rd Streets, in this tunnel, the southbound roadway is raised and runs slightly over the northbound roadway, so the Queensboro Bridge northbound exit can be built. North of 63rd street the roadways become level and run underneath the platforms of the NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, while remaining at grade.
FDR Drive at night

From 79th to 90th Street runs a final enclosed, at-grade portion. The promenade of Carl Schurz Park was built over the highway, near Gracie Mansion. Except for a short elevation over the 96th Street interchange, the remaining portion of the roadway from this tunnel to the 125th St interchange is at grade.

The Manhattan Waterfront Greenway runs below, beside or above the motor road, except between 34th and 63d Streets. A plaque dedicating the East River Drive is visible on the southbound roadway before entering the Gracie Mansion tunnel at 90th Street.


My gut told me the ride this past weekend was going to destroy me with the hills and I was right. I obsessed over the elevation map knowing it was too much for me but I'd committed to it and I did the best I could. It was a fun but frustrating ride. Partly due to the bike and partly due to all the damn hills.


This ride is MUCH MUCH flatter.
Even flatter it appears than the 5 boro!
This is the elevation map of the MS Bike Tour

 This is the Twin Lights Tour

 This is the 5 boro

My trouble is that I don't think it's fair to leave Mike with the kids for another full day plus we would have to put Humph in the kennel.

On the flip side the event starts at 7:30am so I think I'd be home by about 2:00pm.

All of this is why I WANT to do it. So why am I NOT doing it?
Humphrey.
Last weekend we put the dog in the kennel. We can't afford to do it again.
I hate sharing this tidbit of info because it makes my husband sound like SUCH a selfish jerk but he doesn't do anything with the dog. He never takes Humph out. Never ever ever.
When we got Humphrey 11 years ago Mike made it clear that it was MY dog and 100% my responsibility.
He's stayed true to his word. 
If I go out or want to do something I have to arrange for the dog to either go to the kennel or have someone watch him for me.
It's $50 a day to put the hound in the kennel and that's money I'd rather spend elsewhere so I don't think I'll get to do this one...

Thoughts on the bike tour

1. While the ride takes you through some beautiful neighborhoods and the weather was delightful, the hills were BRUTAL and there were way way way too many of them.
2. Because of the hills I'm not sure I'd do this ride again.
3. Someone REALLY needs to develop a comfortable bike saddle. Bike butt is an awful awful thing.
4. I thought it would be fun to bike with people till I was invited to bike with a group of ladies. They were super duper nice but I didn't care for the extra unexpected pressure of trying to keep up with them. All it did was make me feel like a total wimp when a woman who outweighed me by at LEAST 150 pounds was so far ahead of me I couldn't see her anymore.
5. The folks that do these tours are the kindest friendliest folks. I had to walk most of the hills and almost everyone that passed me asked if I was okay or if I needed help. I know without a doubt that if I had said yes they would have been right there to help me.
6. The two marshals that were behind me the whole route were stupendous. They helped me fix my bike and showed me how to raise the seat and then when I stopped to drink water or take a break they were right there with me and wouldn't go on till I did. Knowing they were there was a great support.
7. Did I mention bike butt? Because really, ow.
8. While I enjoyed the Trek 7200 I didn't like the dial shifters and I think I need to go even lighter on the bike front.

WHY

Mike has been mocking me about all these bike events I'm signing up for calling me the Twilight Lance Armstrong. (Vampire sucking his bank account dry by biking. Get it?)
I'm not sure he understands why I keep signing up for these things. I'm not even sure I completely understand it but it goes something like this:
I need to see how far I can go. I'm one of those people who isn't happy without something to look forward to or a project on my plate. Something to work towards. A goal, to see how far I can shove myself. Something to be proud of when I rest my head on the pillow at night.

It's more than that though, at least with the biking. Exercise has NEVER interested me. At all. The best shape I was in was when I had the horses. My legs were rocks and I had ab muscles to be envied. When Bunker died that was it. Exercise went the way of all things.

Chrissy and I were members of the Sports Club at the Chelsea Piers for a year but she dropped off after 6 months and I lost interest as well.
Since I've found Boot Camp I've discovered a side of me that shocks me still. Every time I find my little feet taking me over to the Monroe Center to go to class I'm shocked.

When I find myself grabbing the heavier KBs I'm more shocked. Who IS this gal?
I got my bike on a whim. A cute way to supplement my exercise. I had NO idea I would love it so much or the workout would be so hard! More than that though it's the best exercise I've found to help with my weight loss.
Today over the course of a 4 hour ride I'll be burning close to 1500 calories!!
That's nothing to sneeze at!
When I found the 5 boro bike tour I found a new hobby or a new addiction however you view it.
The good news for him is that it's a 5 month window in which these events happen.
The bad news is that I have 3 this month!!

The main reason though deep down is because right now it's 5:40am and I'm sitting here terrified. My stomach is in total knots and I'm hoping I can keep down the cereal that I just managed to get down.
I'm nervous as all hell about this ride. Why?! It's not a race! It's not a competition. Maybe not but I'm still so afraid that I'm going to fail and not be able to finish it. That I'm not as strong yet as I want to be or think I am (or thought I was)
The ride today has LOTS of hills and bridges and climbs and they are what have my stomach in total and complete panic mode.

These events draw serious riders, folks who bike all the damn time, teams of riders as well as families and kids. Little kiddos. Do you have ANY idea how humiliating it will be if I can't finish but a child can?
My fears are irrational and illogical and completely unfounded. I'm counting myself out before I've even gotten started.

Stupid right? Can't help it. I'm lacking in confidence for my ability for this ride. HARDCORE.
I need to prove myself wrong. I need to build my confidence and  trust in myself. Failure is most certainly an option but I need to get out there and see how far I can go and how much I can do. I need to push myself beyond my fears.
THAT is why these are important to me.
As if on cue the song "Take it easy" just came on my IPod. The lyrics?
"Take your time, no need to worry. Take it easy, no need to worry."
Think I need to heed these wise words...

Today we bike...

I went to boot camp yesterday despite that little voice in my head that told me I should stay home and rest the day before a bike event.
I'm thinking I should have listened.
It's 3:00am and the aches in my legs woke me up.
Too many lunges and squats followed by a 3 mile bike ride on a bike where the seat is WAY too low resulting in my legs having to work way too hard to pedal.
I've taken some Advil and I'll go and soak in a super hot tub and throw some Ben Gay on these poor gams.
On the up side the bike I've rented should work just fine. I think I'll be okay with the gears and I'll have the hang of shifting quickly.
I have a 3 1/2 mile ride to the ferry terminal and once we are over in the Highlands, I'll have the lovely folks at the repair tent try to help me with the seat height.
Oh! The bike has a drink cage on the frame and a place for my stuff in the back which I can strap down nice and tight plus a bag on the front for my camera and IPhone.
I only wish I could have some music to bike to. No place to put my cooler with the speakers. Ah well. I'll survive I think.
The only other item on my wish list is a second camera. I'm going to attempt to mount the camera to the handlebars and videotape as much of the ride as I can. If I had a second camera I would be able to take more still photos.
Eh. It's all good.
I'm nervous and hope I can do the full 30 miles.

Tour De Bronx

I just registered for the 25 mile route on this tour. It's FREE so you all should come out and bike with Bison and I!!!



http://www.tourdebronx.org/

Disney Cruise

Weather

So, the weather for Sunday is showers.
Fantastic.
Now I'm not quite sure WHAT to do here.
It was my plan since it's only going to be a high of 68 to wear my sweatshirt with a teeshirt under it but that was when I was riding Bison.

Now on this new bike, I've got no where to store stuff so if I get too hot in the sweatshirt I can't take it off and throw it into my saddlebag.
Neither do I have a place to store the rain jacket I was going to bring.
Okay so let's say I do the ride in a long sleeved teeshirt to balance the difference.
I'm still unsure what to do with water and things.
Do I pack my messenger bag? Do I want that extra thing hanging on me?

Okay so you all are now seeing a side of me that is seldom shown. This is the over worry needs complete control needs to know ALL of the facts so there are no surprises gal.
I only get like this in situations like this. Situations where 99% of the factors and details are unknown and out of my control..

In these situations I cannot trust and cannot leave things to chance. I need to know EVERYTHING and find out all the details that I can and control as much as I can  and plan for every possible situation that might arise.
I am extremely OCD in situations with so many variables. 

Do I NEED to have 2 bottles of water? No, I'm sure that I don't especially since there are two rest stops on my route with food and water.

Do I NEED to pack all that I'm planning on packing? No, I'm sure that I don't but if I don't I'll be anxious and concerned that I've left something behind that might prove valuable along the route.

Can I have a good time if I leave everything behind and just get on the bike and pedal my little heart out? Possible.

Chances are I'll unpack and replan about 50 more times before Sunday comes and on Sunday morning at 6am when I'm walking out the door I'll dump half of what I'm bringing.

I think I'm most anxious about doing this on a bike that's a stranger to me. A bike with hand brakes and gears that if I don't time right can cause the chain to jump off and screw the whole day for me.
It's a bike without an odometer so I really won't know how far I'm biking (something important to me) and without storage.
I'm also going to be without a spare tube, patch kit or tools to fix the bike if it goes on me. This doesn't concern me too much because they do have SAG support. The only problem is that it will take me out of the tour completely.

It's new, and it's different and that bugs me. It leaves me feeling very vulnerable.

I HATE feeling like this because it's not how I normally operate. I never want this level of control in anything I do. I'm a go with the flow, lovin life, takin what it tosses at me kinda gal.

I have 5 days left till the tour. It's ONLY 30 miles so it's not the end of the world right? I can do this and get through in one piece and at the end of the day I'm going to have accomplished a goal and will have had a great time.

Oddly enough, the rain doesn't worry or deter me. At least I know what to expect and if I do wind up taking my messenger bag can anticipate having to pack extra shoes and pants. No Big Deal...Wish everything else was.

Sports Legs

My dad got me this supplement called "SportLegs".
It is apparently supposed to be a Nutritional Support for your body's lactate energy systems.


SportLegs helps regulate lactic acid production, so your muscles produce only as much as they need to perform their very best. You can enjoy sports and leave the pain- killers in the medicine cabinet, where they belong.
Take patented SportLegs pre-sport supplement an hour before sports or exercise, and you can comfortably go faster, longer. Which makes sports a lot more fun.

GUARANTEED:  SportLegs really works. If you aren't satisfied SportLegs safely reduces your muscle "burn" and soreness afterward at least IN HALF, we'll refund your money. Just call 866-LEGBURN.

Apparently these little magic pills are supposed to help reduce that awful burning feeling in my legs as I ride.
Skeptical? Yup. I'll give them a shot though. At this point there isn't much I'm not willing to try. (That's an extreme exaggeration so please no one suggest that I shoot up Red Bull or snort No Doze)
What I mean is that I'm willing to give all natural herbal remedies that might help me boost my energy and my endurance a shot.
I'm not looking to dope up here but after today at Boot Camp where I made sure I did really really deep squats and lunges my legs ache.
That was 35 mins worth of work and the squats and lunges weren't even the full time! 30 miles on a bike that has serious hills and I'm going to need as much on my side as I can get!!

Infidelity

Oh my beautiful Bison forgive me.
I'm weak and I have short stubby out of shape legs.
(hanging her head) I've rented a Trek 7200 Comfort Bike from Bike and Roll for the Tour on Sunday.
I keep looking at this map and it SCARES ME.
Click the little thing that says "Show Elevation" and tell me if you would attempt it with a 60 pound Beach Cruiser!!



My justification is that I want to have a good time. I don't want to get off and walk half of it. That's not the point. I don't want to struggle and be close to tears the whole route. I want to be able to do it and finish and be accomplished.
Here are my current worries.
1. The bike doesn't have a basket or a saddle bag like mine does. WHERE do I put my stuff?!

2. Water Bottle? My bike doesn't have a clip for a bottle so I don't have one. I keep my water bottle in the bike basket. Oh wait...it comes with a handlebar bag. Groovy. I'll stick my other stuff in there but WHAT ABOUT WATER?!!

I'm sure it will all become clear. I just hope Bison doesn't hate me...

Biking dilemma

I am completely and madly in love with my Beach Cruiser "Bison the Bicycle".
I love how she looks, how much attention she and I get when we are out together and I'm now truly comfortable on her.

The trouble is that she's as heavy as a Bison. She's abut 60 pounds of bike. Having been away from her for almost 5 months I'm struggling to get back to the distances we were doing when I stopped for the summer.
The most I can do right now is 5 miles which would be ducky but I've signed up to ride 30 on Sunday the 26th.

I wouldn't be so concerned but the route is described as "flat to rolling" which means hills.
Hills are my Kryptonite.  Bison is a single geared bike which means hills are a zillion times as hard and will eat up all of my energy.

I'm worried that I won't be able to do the 30 miles on her. I'm worried that in the first 2 miles of this ride there are two nasty looking inclines that I'm going to have to walk.
I'm considering renting a bike from a place in the city that has lighter bikes designed more for these types of events.
A bike I'm SURE I could finish on.
So why haven't I pulled the trigger on the rental yet?

Two reasons.
1. I know my bike. I know how she feels, and know exactly what to expect from her. I know that I'm comfortable riding her and that she will get me from start to finish in tact.
2. The bikes they rent are geared and have handbrakes and much narrower tires. The whole frame is completely different than what I'm used to. I'm not so sure that a 30 mile ride is the best time to get acquainted with a new bike.

Throw into the equation that I'm stubborn and part of me would feel as though I copped out trying to do it on a lighter bike.
If I finish on Bison, doesn't that make me more Awesome than usual? That I pulled a 60 pound single geared beast up and down hills and over more miles than a sane human would take that style of bike would leave me with an AMAZING sense of accomplishment.
With the other bike I would be left feeling accomplished but wondering what the ride would have been like on Bison.

Did I mention too that the rental of the bike is $50 for the day?
With the 5 boro bike tour I had total ignorance on my side. Never having been on Bison I was blissfully unaware how heavy she was and how harder I would have to pedal than all the other participants.

I struggled with that ride but I got the 30 miles done and was damn proud of it even though I didn't finish.
So if I was able to do that ride which is the same distance as this ride on Sunday, why is it keeping me up at night?
If I did it once, why am I even concerned with this one coming up?

I'm concerned because of the darn elevation chart they put on the site.
The 5 Boro Bike Tour was 42 miles with a total Elevation Gain of 1,271  with the average gain per mile at 30.
The Twin Lights Ride is 30 miles with a total Elevation Gain of 1,380 with the average gain per mile at 46.

Can't tell you how that makes my guts churn.
I just want to have a good time and enjoy the ride and not worry about hills so much. I don't want to be hopping off every 30 seconds to walk her up another hill!

ARGHHHH...

Okay so why in the HELL do I do this to myself? WHY do I sign up for these insane challenges knowing how stacked the deck is against me?

Because I can. Because I enjoy having a goal and I love feeling strong and pushing myself. I love proving folks who think I can't wrong and even proving myself wrong.

When I did the 5 boro Bike Tour we hit 15 miles and I was tapped out. My tank was empty. I was at the foot of the bridge into Queens and there was no way I could do another hill. No way, no how.
Somehow I dug super duper duper deep and walked the bike up the hill and found it in me to do another 15 miles.

I remember sitting at the rest stop close to tears and I asked myself "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR DUMMY!?!"
The answer was simple and quick. "Because I CAN." Because I needed to see what I was made of. I needed to see how strong I was and where my limit really really was.
As you recall I found it on a hill at the 30 mile mark in Bed Stuy Brooklyn. I tapped out 12 miles shy of the finish line but feeling as proud and accomplished as if I had finished it.

All these challenges I use them when I need strength when faced with another challenge. When I started Boot Camp it was "I went through labor TWICE DAMN IT. I can do this!" When I did the 5 boro it was "I attend BOOT CAMP 6 days a week DAMN IT. I can do this!"
On the 26th it will be a grouping of all of these things.
Here's hoping I don't need the SAG wagon to get us to the finish line...

Biking

So as it turns out the 25 mile night ride I was going to do didn't pan out but as luck would have it on the same day is a 30 mile bike tour of the Jersey Shore hosted by the same folks who put on the 5 boro bike tour!
Here is the map of where I'll be riding.


Compare it to the 5 boro bike tour


and what I've been riding to train on


and the MS tour

Geek infinity

I'm such a geek.
There is a woman named Pamela MacElree who is a Kettlebell trainer. She's my workout idol. Seriously. I think she's such a rockstar.
It's because of her that I realized that women can lift and work with heavy weights and not have to be huge body building roided out freaks.
I'm on her mailing list and she just sent out a video on kettlebell training for the legs and glutes. It happens to be perfectly timed for me as I'm working to get my legs and glutes in shape for my two bike events.
I put it up on Facebook and she wrote on my page thanking me for putting it up.
I got butterflies.
I'm a pathetic geek...

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddd

I showed my dad that we can turn a profit at the market and he's on board but he doesn't think we are ready to go that big time yet.
He thinks I should start smaller and do a one or two day venue and see how it goes.
He's put it to me in such a way that I'm now unsure which way to go.
A smaller venue makes sense but many of the expenses are the exact same if not more.
I have to talk to Mike about all of this...

Today is the day

Today is the day my dad comes over to frustrate, annoy, aggravate, stimulate, provoke, and ultimately tell me if he's backing my cookie venture or not.
FINGERS CROSSED PEOPLE...

Bittersweet 1st day of school

Today was the first day of school and it couldn't have gone any better if I'd scripted it.
Again someone was watching over us because as I was waiting on line to find out Patrick's classroom assignment Brian's speech therapist and his case manager from the IEP team showed up behind us with his new teacher.
Having them there allowed me to take Patrick upstairs while they played with Brian and hung with him and made him feel comfortable and less anxious.
They escorted him to his classroom and I realized that I'd forgotten his lunch so I ran and got him a bagel and water and then went to the classroom and spent a little time with his teacher.
She seems very very nice and Lion only has 6 classmates this year. 6 kids and 3 teachers with one more to be added at some point.
He will be following the same curriculum that Patrick had last year with Tools of the Mind and the Magic Treehouse stories but at a much much slower pace. His teacher told me that last year they didn't start the stories till April.
Fingers crossed we've done the right thing putting him in a special needs classroom and he continues to progress forward and not go backwards.
Most of me is okay with him in this classroom setting but the little tiny part of me worries that I'm setting him up for issues down the line. 
At pickup all of the kids file out to the playground and I was waiting where the kindergartners were but couldn't find Lion.
I ran and found Pat and met his teacher. She seems very very nice and I got a good vibe off of her. She's young and has a very warm smile.
Got him but still couldn't find Lion. It dawned on me that maybe the special needs classes don't mingle so much with the other kids or maybe they aren't let out with the other kids so I went to the front steps and tada! A lion!
It seems they have lunch with the other kiddos and gym so that's good. The classroom isn't so insulated.
I hope this is a good school year.

Pitch done

So I've pitched my parents on the business loan.
I already know how it's going to happen.
My mother won't contribute a thing because "your father has more money than I do" and my father will hopefully once again step up and help out his daughter.
Having my dad involved in this is a total mixed blessing.

He started his own business 30 years ago from nothing, working two jobs and raising a family. He built a very very successful company that allowed me all the spoiled brat luxuries I had as a kid.
My dad is responsible for my entrepreneurial spirit. Not a doubt in my mind.

He's an amazing amazing asset to have because much of what I will go through building my company and growing my business, he's been there, done that, seen it before.
He's also an amazing pain in the ass (said with nothing but love) because he retired and sold the company about 5 years ago and he's currently stuck at home recovering from knee surgery.
He is bored out of his mind.

A project like starting a new business is EXACTLY what he's been craving (though I'm not sure he knows it) and if we can make this happen, he's going to be all over my plans giving me advice that while stellar and useful is not always delivered well or timed well.

My dad has been one of my best friends my whole entire life.
When I was a little girl, he and I were thick as thieves. As I grew up, I learned how to handle my father and how to deal with his stubborn very black and white view on the world.
I love my dad but I'm the only one who knows how to not let him get under my skin.
Which is why he and I work well together.
He talks, I nod and eventually he realizes I'm not listening to him and yesing him to death and he gives up the fight.
Unless it's something that is super important that I need his advice on and then I don't bust chops and I really do tune in and absorb what he's got for me.

I'm hoping he can front the capitol I need to make this work because I think we could both benefit from this. He will shake his boredom and his funk and can pass along his wisdom and be helpful and I can realize a dream.

Cookies

Design Ideas

Logo

This lovely gal was drawn for me by an internet friend.
While I think she is fantastic, I'm working on making her even better. Okay, I'M not working on making her better because Photoshop and Illustrator are so GOD AWFUL expensive but just wait to see what my talented pals come up with.
Here are some renditions.
This is the original:

Her colors a little saturated

and a VERY cool version of her that my friend Kristen did

Market 2

So I've received the blessing from Mike to go full steam ahead with the plan for the holiday market booth.
Last night we were talking about it and he said we should take whatever profit I make, no matter how small (I'm trying to be a realist with a strong pessimistic streak) will be used to pay my parents back their (potential) investment and the remainder will go towards a family trip to Europe.

Now that I know he's on board and has my back I'm anchors away in preparing the ultimate product and designing the most rockin booth EVER seen.

I might be approaching this whole thing with a bit of a smug attitude and a tiny bit of over confidence because I've BEEN to the holiday fairs and I'm fairly certain they ain't never seen nothin like my cookie.

Now to be fair, I didn't go last year and I know that a few of the new smaller "hip" independent business are catching on and bring their stuff to the market but I think if it's anything like it was two years ago, it's a whole lotta stuff that just isn't as cool as my cookie.


I'm not going to tell you what it is yet in case I can't make it work. If I can though, it's an AWESOME creation and I think it will sell really really well.

The only issue that has me worried is the whole thing with permits and licenses.

Apparently I must obtain a Department of Health and Mental Hygiene permit and food operator’s
license.

I tried to get info from the website of the great city of NY on how to go about doing this but I got an instant headache.

I have a call into a lovely very helpful woman at Urban Space and hopefully she can help me overcome this first hurdle...

Not only am I obsessing on how to make my cookies work but I also have to really work on the design of the booth. I need to stand out from everyone else.
Each booth is an independent covered structure measuring approximately 9 feet 10 inches wide by 5 feet 10 inches deep by 7 feet 3 inches high (most double booths are twice the width and half booths, half the width).A half booth is roughly 5 feet wide by 5 feet 10 inches deep by 7 feet 3 inches high.

My booth is going to be as big as my bathroom.

I have a few ideas for what I want and how I want it to look but again nothing in stone.

I'll keep checking in and giving you guys updates on the progress...

Holiday Market

Going back through all of my old documents and business plans I ran across an application I filled out for the Bryant Square Holiday Market.
Every year I say I'm going to get a booth and launch my cookie company "Christopher Street Cookies"
The application says I'm the mother to a 2 and 3 year old. I'm currently a mother to a 5 and 6 year old if that gives you any indication how long I've wanted this.
I reread it and realized that I STILL want that booth and I STILL want to launch that company.(for those who cannot do math, it's been 3+ years)
.

It all started when I read that a guy launched his cookie company at the fairs with only one kind of cookie.
He made over $20,000 over the course of the fair.

SERIOUSLY?!

I'm going for it. I think.