Thursday, January 12, 2012

I've gotta be me

“Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back-she will hear her heart”

I am not a very talented gal. I'm not good at a whole lot, but I know this and I've done lots of soul searching and made actual lists, on paper, with a pen of where my strengths are and where my weaknesses are and I know what I am and am not capable of.

I KNOW Christopher Street Cookies is something I have to do and I know I can do it and be successful at it.

I've been waiting for the right time for 5 years and within that time I've developed a very very crystal clear vision of what I want this venture to be an how I want it to be organized and what I'm looking to achieve at the end of the day.

With this I'm doing it the right way, getting all the proper ducks in a row, getting all the guidance, wisdom, information, and help that I can from everyone around me.

I'm also exploring every single option available to me. Every way this business can be run, I'm looking into it. I've looked at just wholesale from a closed private kitchen to going to see a rental retail store front and next week I'm going to talk to the owner of a brand new not yet opened bakery here in Hoboken about renting her commercial kitchen.

I'm doing my homework on the best equipment and how to get it for the cheapest price. Working out the list of the bare minimum I need to start up.
I've spent hours doing research on licenses and permits and certifications and finding out exactly what I need to well wholesale, retail and to rent space in a kitchen.

 On Wednesday I have a meeting with a counselor from the NJ SBA to help me with my business plan and to discuss what small business loans are available to women business owners. He will serve as my guide and mentor throughout this process.
I am going about all this in the way it needs to be done to be a raging success. I'm not doing this on a whim or going into it with Pollyanna blinders on.
I've joined a networking group for entrepreneurial mothers here in Hoboken.

I've put lots and lots of hours into doing my homework and getting educated on what all this really truly takes.

I have to try. I have to. It's almost to the point where it isn't a choice anymore. The drive, the desire, the dream is so strong that to ignore it is exhausting.

Everyone around me assumes there is no way I can do this and be a success.
Maybe they are right but I look at people like Milton Hershey & Debbi Fields & Walt Disney or even the band Kiss, and while I don't aspire to be as huge as they are (though, why the hell not?! If you are going to dream, dream big right?) they all started out with less than nothing and built empires.

They all had the same passion for something, they had a vision and a goal, a desire to be more than what everyone around them thought they could be.

Baking makes me happy and it's something I'm good at. I don't want to go and work long hours to make someone else a success. If I'm going to work hard, it's going to be for me. For my future, for my kids future, for my family's future. For my mental health and happiness.

Everyone asks me what I'm going to do if I fail. I ask myself what am I going to do when I succeed.  When this dream comes to a reality, I will put my blood, sweat and tears into making in the biggest success it can be. Failure doesn't scare me.

Is it going to be long hours and hard work? Yup. Is my family going to have to hang in with me for a little bit and show me extra patience? Yup.

I'm not even an official company yet and I have my first party order. Can you imagine what's going to happen when I start putting my product and company name in people's faces?

I have no delusions that this is going to be a cake walk or that it's going to be an easy venture but I'm ready for it. My kids are ready for it (yes, I've had conversations with them about it all)

I cannot leave this world having been too afraid, or having waited for the right moment

I think Sammy said it best:

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