Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ask for drama...

I should seriously be careful what I ask for.

Lion has extremely stunted social skills due to the PDD-NOS.

He just doesn't get how to interact with other kids.
His coping skill is that he mimics PJ and the other kids around him.
Monkey see, monkey do.
For the most part it works out well for him except when it doesn't.
Lion does not understand how to read people and their emotions or reactions to his actions. He also doesn't understand the consequences of his actions. When you tell or tell him no or punish him it does not click or connect.
I can't explain it but you can see it not making sense. Since his diagnosis I've tried to come up with an analogy for it and the best I can find is that it's like reprimanding or punishing a pet.
They hear you, they see your facial expressions and the tone of your voice but never quite connect it back to what it was they did wrong and they never quite understand exactly what you are blathering on about.
I have worked really hard with him on what is and isn't appropriate behavior but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he does not retain what I tell him.
It just doesn't sink in.
He knows how to mimic the proper response to bad behavor which in our house is a hug and the words "I'm sorry".
I know you can discipline him a million times for the same issue and he's never going to make the connection.
The only thing you can do is keep disciplining each and every time and attempt catch the infraction prior to it being committed.

today Lion's teacher tells me that two days in a row there have been incidences with Lionduring recess in the gym.
Yesterday for no reason at all he walked up to a little girl in another class (who his teacher doesn't think he's ever had interaction with prior) and he pushed her.Hard. She fell hard and when she went down she bit off a chunk of her tongue.
Today his teacher said he threw a ball it went in one direction he watched it and then ran over to the same little girl and hit her. (I had to stop typing so I could put my head in my hands for a second)
He's also been slapping the kids in his class across the face.

She said she wanted to give me the heads up because the office was most likely going to call me.

I want to cry. I want to just break down.
We worked so hard to matriculate him in a main stream classroom. He was doing really well.
Not fitting in exactly but holding his own on his own and figuring it all out.
Now this. Hitting is not unusual for Lion. Neither is throwing or lashing out. I thought that up to this point though it has been very minimal at school.

I'm going to talk to his teacher tomorrow morning and get the full scoop on exactly what the magnitude of his violent outbursts are and the frequency.

I'm concerned that the school is going to react by attempting to put him in a special needs class.

Tomorrow is going to be a morning of running from office to office to attempt damage control and to ask for help (again) from his ABA therapist.

By law they can't tell me who the child is that he's hurt but I'm going to bake them cookies tonight with a note explaining Lion and apologize for his behavior.

I'll ask his teacher or the office to deliver it.

I feel so badly for that poor little girl. She must be so confused and hurt as to why twice she's been attacked and hurt completely unprovoked.

If ANY humor is to be found in this at all as his teacher is telling me this I'm squatting down to zip his coat and he open handed slapped me hard across the face. Unprovoked and unapologetic.
Perfect timing kiddo...

I read blogs like this one and wish that my life involved some more adventure...

Monday, January 26, 2009

From "Overheard In NY"

Woman: I find the suburbs to be extremely frightening. I know they all have air conditioning, but still...

--6 train

Friday, January 23, 2009


So I went to pick Lion and PJ up today and when I went to get Lion his teacher told me that Veronica in the office wanted to talk to me. "I don't know what it could be about"
I get up there and it turns out she's a social worker for the school.
She ushers me over to her desk (at this point I'm wondering what on EARTH could be going on. It's NEVER good when a Social Worker for the Board of Ed wants to have a private discussion with you...)
She tells me that Lion's teacher has told her that Lion "never has snacks" and he winds up at snack time sitting and watching the other kids eat.
Also Lion's teacher has told her that I've been bringing him to school with a very heavy wet diaper.
Oh and today he didn't have a coat...
What's this?!

She by told me YESTERDAY at the end of the school day that he didn't have any snacks.
I went shopping today and got a ton of stuff for him to leave in his cubby.
How long had he not had snack? No idea. I only know he's out when SHE TELLS ME...
The diaper thing? When Lion wakes up he gets a diaper change, before school he usually has a sippy of juice.
I change his diaper less than an hour before we leave to go to school.
I have no idea what time they change his diaper at during the day, but there is no way I'd send him to school with a saggy diaper.
It just wouldn't happen.
As for his coat today? He had one. I'd never send him without one. He just REFUSED to put it on.

I'm going to talk to his teacher. She's a cool gal and I think somewhere something might have gotten lost in the translation here...

In the grand scheme of things I know these items are not a huge deal but I'm sitting here feeling like I want to burst into tears.
I am NOT one who will stamp my foot and get indigent and uppity when I'm wrong but I swear to God that she talked to the social worker about either issue makes me feel horrible.
I don't care what you think of me as a human or as a person but as a MOTHER?! Yes, I care a great deal.
I care a whole lot that right now there is a woman who works for the Hoboken School System in the social services department that now thinks I send my kid to school hungry and wet.
THAT bothers me beacuse NEITHER are true.
Have I forgotten snack? Of course! Lots of times. I've also run home to get snack and come back again with it.
Right now I'm feeling like a rather horrible mother...seriously.

Random Acts of Kindness...

If you know me at all you know two basic simple facts.
1. I love Cupcakes
2. I love doing things for other people and making people happy

I ran across this post on CakeSpy and went bezerk

Tell me this isn't a wonderful idea and one I sincerely wish I'd thought of first!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Music and how it feels

Today I had to go to the bank which is about a mile walk from our apartment.
It's cold but sunny and I wanted to use my IPOD (A Christmas gift I haven't had the chance to play with yet) so I decided to walk.
I threw on my sunglasses, my black Docs and headed out.
My IPOD has some random weird shit on it but it's all music that I love. Hanoi Rocks, The Dead Boys, New York Dolls, Reverend Horton Heat, PIL, The Clash, Wham, Stray Cats, Hall and Oats, Joan Jett, Kiss, Motley Crue...
So I've got my music cranking and I get walking and the sun is shining and I realize I'm in a GREAT mood with TONS of energy. As I get into a groove I realize I feel good. I feel sexy, happy, confident, alive, in love, content, cool and a little bit like a bad ass (The docs always seem to have that effect on me)
I felt invincible and completely on top of my game and in control. The sidewalk was almost a catwalk and I was fuckin WORKING THAT SHIT...Head high, shoulders back, confident stride, quick pace.
I got to the bank, got my quarters turned around and walked the mile back home. When I got home I looked at the clock.
I walked to the bank, got cash, got quaters and walked home (2 mile round trip) in 40 mins.

All beacuse of my IPOD and the way music made me feel today.
Don't ever tell me music isn't an important part of life...

Manic Monday or "It's not my fault"

I have always been the sort of person who plans and prepares for what lies ahead. I try as hard as I can to do whatever I can to eliminate as much stress from my day to day life.

PT is not. Without fail every single solitary morning he gets angry and stressed about something. He can't find this, where is that, what did I do with the other thing.

This morning, after being off of work for three solid days he's once again running around like a chicken with no head pissed and angry.

Item number one was that the pharmacy filled the wrong script for him yesterday. He didn't think to check it and when they called they gave him a long name for the drug and he didn't know what they were talking about. (this is also called "It's not my fault")

Item number two was that he couldn't find anything in the drawer we keep the scripts in because "You have so many bottles in here and it's so unorganized"

What's this now? I have so many bottles in there?

"ONE of those is mine"(said in an "you cannot be serious with that statement"tone)
"No, more than one is yours" (said in a angry stressed, flustered, late for work tone also known as "It's not my fault")
"Okay, if you say so" (said in a "you cannot be serious dude" tone)
SEVEN script bottles
ONE is mine. SIX are his.

Item number three was that he cannot find his sunglasses.
Where were they last?
On the counter where he left them after going to get breakfast over the weekend. (Saturday morning)
"Well, maybe if you put them where they belong we wouldn't have this issue"
"Oh please, this place is such a shithole"(standard response also known as "It's not my fault")

Now this last item is rather serious beacuse we cannot find his sunglasses. They are nowhere. He thinks they might have gotten thrown in the garbage.
I asked him if he put them in the Dunkin Donuts bag. He said no. Then I'm sure they are not in the garbage. (only I'm not really so sure beacuse around here much stranger things have happened)
He KNOWS that when he empties his pockets his stuff goes in the bin I have just for his stuff.It's safe and sound and secure in there.In that white box the swirling vortex of chaos that resides on my kitchen counters does not exist. You put things in that box and they stay there.
The counter is like the wild west. Cattle rustlers are always on the loose

So my morning is going to be spent playing Nancy Drew hunting for those sunglasses that he can't find and somehow it's my fault that they are lost...