Roadblocks

So I'm practicing to be a Christian. I think. What I mean is one of my dearest friends is teaching me and guiding me down the path of the bible so I can ultimately decide if I'm ready to accept God into my life or not.

The more I try to become one with the religion, the more I'm sure my husband and my children are Satan's Minions.

They keep stepping in the way of my going to places to further my learning. I mean who else but Satan or one of his insane henchmen would keep tripping me up and blocking my way?

I'm kidding here...sort of...

I know that church and bible study are really crucial parts of being a Christian and so I want to try to make them a part of my journey.

Tonight I was all set to attend a bible study group at said friends house. I had told PT all about it and he was okay coming home and watching the kids for an hour or two.

He called and he was running super late. He finally arrived home and Lion would not let me walk out the door. He attached himself to me like velcro and I couldn't remove him for all the Chocolate Milk in the world.

I tried EVERYTHING to get him calmed down and let me walk out the door. "MOMMY NO GO" seemed to be the theme of the evening. I even let him play with my IPhone (of course I realized too late that I'd need to take it away from him and take it with me. That didn't go over so well)
I tried sleeping on the couch and I tried sleeping in mommy's bed.
"Mommy too?" with those big chocolate brown eyes staring up at me dotted with tears.
"No sweetie. Mommy has to go out"
"MOMMY NO GO"

and the tears would start again.

I WISH I could figure out why sometimes he could give a duck's bill that I'm leaving and I have to chase him down to get a kiss or a hug and then there are nights like tonight when he can't breathe without me and will have a complete breakdown if I leave his line of sight.

I never know which way he's going to swing and it forces me to always err on the side of having no social life.

God, I tried tonight. I really did. I wanted to get to that group to share your words and learn more about you and your son but my son wasn't having it and sometimes he's more powerful than even you....