Today

So today we got to the school playground at 8am. That gave the boys a full half an hour to zoom around and for Lion to be happy and set him up for a good day.

Yesterday was a very bad day. In fact it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. The school therapist had suggested that I should try bringing Lion to his classroom 10 mins late so that he can avoid the insane chaos that is drop off.

I honestly wish I could videotape it so you can see what it's like but people are hinky about videotaping their kids so I cannot.
It's overwhelming to a "normal" kid but it's got to be really awful for Lion. So today Lion and I stayed for that extra 10 minutes and before I could come and get him to tell him it was time, he came to me and said
"Okay mommy. I'm ready to go to class now"

Tell me that wouldn't make your heart soar and get your hopes up for the day. It sure did mine. I left him in his classroom and went to Boot Camp and I even felt so confident that he would have a good day that I went ahead and made lunch/shopping plans with my friend.

I did my back to back classes (my ass is officially kicked) and stood around yapping with Coach Linda, Coach David and a fellow student.

I went to check my phone to see if my lunch date had called and one missed call. When I saw the number my heart sank and that knot showed up in my stomach again.

Brian was once again with the school psychologist (who I think might be the most patient woman in the entire universe) because he had hit some classmates.  She felt that he did it so that he could leave school early and come home so she wasn't going to send him home today but would keep him in her office till he calmed down.

I called my lunch date and cancled because I thought I should be here in case they call me again to come and get him.

When I got home I emailed her to ask how he was doing.

This is the reply I got:

"Brian refused to apologize, continued name calling and hit me on the arm/hand. This all occurred after hitting several students in gym unprovoked. As I said on the phone Brian made it clear that he is associating hitting with going home which is why today we are not sending him home but rather making up his missed educational time during free times. He ate lunch with our VP Ms. Morales. I believe he is still with her and you may call Ms. Morales to verify at 201-xxx-xxx as I am heading out until 12:45pm."

I'm not sure the English language has enough words to tell you how stressed out I am about all of this.

The rest of my morning was spent leaving messages for Child Psycholigists, Developemental Peditiricians and the most absurd of all The Hoboken Mental Health Clinic to get information on Anger Management Sessions for him.

I am exhausted and frazzled.

I keep telling myself tomorrow is another day but each day seems to be the same as the one before.