Memory Lane AGAIN

I went onto You Tube and did a search for Anthrax. Found the video for the song "I'm the man" and it shot me right back to a VERY specific time with Chrissy.
Spurred on by that memory I went back and found other songs by Anthrax and as I watched the video I remember how she and I used to joke that I was going to marry Dan Spitz (The 5'1" guitar player) and we were going to have dwarf children.
She used to tell me that I was PERFECT for him because I wouldn't give him a height complex. (Untill I was about 19 I stood at a whopping 4'9". I then sprouted the extra two inches that put me at my current and forever 4'11")
I started thinking about all the shows and clubs we went to and how silly we looked together. My 4'9" self and her 6' lanky bod.
I often think that part of the reason we made such a good team is because we were so different. No WAY a guy would attempt to hit on both of us. I was the short platinum blond with the huge hair and massive mammary glands

and she was the tall drink of water with pale skin and jet black hair.

Even when I dyed my hair black we still never ever competed with each other for boys.
Weird that both the people in the photo below are dead.

I was walking down 6th avenue yesterday and she popped into my head (as she often does) when I passed M&J trimming. We spent a ton of cash in that place she and I.
I realized that since we lost her in 2007 not one single day has gone by that I don't think of her and though I might not speak of her out loud as I did when she first died (poor Mike had to endure HOURS of me telling him moments and memories of she and I) I still have a major hole in my world and I still miss her as much as I did the day I got the news she had been killed.

I've said it before but without her, I wouldn't be who I am today. Not many folks have  their lives changed by a contemporary. Not many folks can name a close friend as the most influential person in their lives but I can and I do.
Her dad has put a new headstone up on her grave. I need to get out and see it before the weather turns too cold.
It makes me insane that I appear to be the only friend who has ever visited her grave.
So many people claim to have loved her and I get that you don't have to visit a cemetery to show love and loyalty, I would think that they would want to go and pay their respects to her at least once.
I just know that she would do it for me as often as she could and the fact that I've only been there once makes me feel guilty as all hell.
 But that was really the dynamic of our friendship. So often I was a shitty friend (and I often think that even as an adult I'm completely socially inept and have no idea really how to be a good friend to anyone) and she forgave and forgave and forgave me.
Another person wouldn't have given me half the chances she gave me.
I think she loved me though. I know we always had fun together. I don't suppose she would have hung with me for 30 years if I was all evil right?