It sucks

So you know when having a dead best friend of 30 years really really sucks?
When you get some news about an old boyfriend, a person only she would remember and you want to share the jaw dropping stupid news and she's the only person who would appreciate or understand the news and would be as appalled and delighted as you are and you go for the phone and realize you can't call her because she's dead.
Yeah, that really really sucks.
Not the first time, and it won't be the last time but it never makes me feel very good...
Scuse me while I go cry in a corner.