ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

1:00am the husband decides it's time to come to bed.
All of a sudden he's waking me up
"D, D. Did Lion poop? It STINKS in here!"
"No, I don't smell anything"
"Well SOMEONE pooped"
"I don't smell anything!"
"Was it the dog?"
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
this went on for about 5 mins with him getting more and more angry that someone or something pooped.
Folks,there is NO poop. What there is however is a very wide awake wife who has just lost her delicate position in the bed because she had to get up and get pillows for her ranting lunatic husband.
I sleep nestled in between the boys. The three of us like a perfect sandwich. Tight like sardines off to the far side pressed up against the wall. Should I be forced to move I'm done. My pillow is gone and so is my spot in bed.
I'm NOT HAPPY. Why does he do this to me? Why wake me up from my sleep to whine and be angry? It makes no sense at all.
I'm going to sleep in the kids room